DEAR ABBY: I fell in love with my best friend. When I told her 10 years ago, she distanced herself. We were still friends, but she went on making bad choices in her relationships, and I never found anyone who could compare to her. We reconnected recently and have once again become very close. I still love her, and I always will.
She doesn’t share the same feelings I have, and while I want to ask her why, I haven’t asked because I don’t want to lose her again. Am I wrong for settling for our amazing friendship? How can I convince her that we could be much more than just each other’s best friend without losing her? — LOVESICK GUY IN THE EAST
DEAR LOVESICK GUY: When a woman distances herself after a man tells her he wants romantic involvement, it usually means she is not physically attracted to him. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t “like” him or that they don’t have much in common. However, it DOES mean that if you want more out of a relationship, you will have to look elsewhere to find it.
DEAR ABBY: My little sister is getting married, and our family is thrilled for her. She’s having a small wedding and has chosen not to have a bridal party. At first, I was sad because she was the maid of honor in my wedding, but I respect her and her fiance’s decision.
My quandary is that I joked that I’m off the hook from writing a speech, since I’m not the MOH. But — she still wants me to write a speech and give a toast. I DON’T WANT TO! It seems like she wants to have her wedding cake and eat it, too. Your thoughts? — SPEECHLESS SIS IN GEORGIA
DEAR SIS: What is your PROBLEM? Why would you want to do anything that would lessen your little sister’s happiness on her special day? It appears you weren’t joking after all when you said you were “off the hook.” My thought is you should be honest with yourself about your motivations, then dismount from your high horse, write the darn speech and make it heartfelt.
DEAR ABBY: How can I get my neighbor to stop buying us pies? Her husband died a year ago. He had Alzheimer’s for many years before his passing. We are more than happy to help her with things around her house because we believe helping others is the right thing to do. We don’t eat many sweets and don’t want the excess calories. Health is a high priority. I have asked her to stop with the sweets, but she keeps buying us this stuff as a thank-you. A verbal thanks would be enough. — PIE-FREE ZONE IN ILLINOIS
DEAR PIE-FREE: The next time your well-meaning neighbor brings a pie to your home, remind her that you and your family avoid sweets FOR HEALTH REASONS and a verbal thank-you is more than enough. If she persists after that, tell her that instead of the pie you would appreciate a fruit salad or a nice zucchini. (It’s worth a try.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
