DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are raising our 7-month-old daughter together, and we generally get along well. I love him very much, but he has a habit that worries me. He’s constantly on the lookout for a new job. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but every couple of months he says he’s bored and wants to work somewhere else. These are decent-paying jobs, but they never pay much more than what he’s earning now. They are also not always located in the same city or even the same state we live in.
I don’t oppose moving away or moving up, but I don’t want to move clear across the country when the benefit won’t significantly add to what we have now and the relocation creates a burden with moving expenses.
Recently, my father made an offhand comment during a conversation about a business that offers good pay, benefits, etc. — nearly the same benefits and pay my husband is receiving now. It would require that we move out of state, and I’d have to search for a new job.
My husband has been at his current job less than a year, and I have been at mine less than six months. We just signed a new lease on our apartment. He wants to break the lease and move. What can I do to convince him that this is not a strategic move for our family at this time? — STRESSED-OUT WIFE AND MOM
DEAR STRESSED-OUT: I don’t recommend breaking your lease and moving at this point because it will damage your credit. I don’t know what your husband’s problem is — whether he has trouble getting along with his co-workers or attention deficit disorder — but things won’t improve until you determine the cause.
Neither of you has a solid job history. In a few short years, your daughter is going to be in preschool, and you do not want to constantly disrupt her education or socialization. Stay put until a move will be more financially beneficial.
DEAR ABBY: An elderly couple moved in next door. They once mentioned that they believed mothballs would keep ants away. That’s not all. Every time they open their garage door, we get blasted with the stench. It is so pungent we must retreat inside our house, which is about 80 feet from their property. We can’t open our windows, sit on our deck or do yard work outside until their garage door comes down. I don’t know how they stand it. How can we let them know it’s affecting our quality of life without causing a permanent rift? — STUNK OUT IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR STUNK OUT: Contact your local health department to report what you are enduring and to share your concerns. Mothballs are not supposed to be used in the manner you have described. If you live in an area with a homeowner’s association, it also may be able to help. However, if there ISN’T one, you may have to bite the bullet and ask these neighbors to close their garage door more quickly because the scent of mothballs is making you ill.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
