DEAR ABBY: I am pregnant with the first-born grandson on both sides. My husband and I plan to use my husband’s middle name for our son’s first name and my father’s middle name for his middle name. My father is “the III” but has no sons, so we thought this would be a way to honor him and represent my side of the family.
My sister is the first person we shared our son’s name with. The following day, she called me to express her displeasure, because she always planned to use our father’s middle name as a first name for a son. I knew this, but I didn’t think using it as a middle name would be an issue. Additionally, she’s younger than I am, unmarried and childless. She was so upset with me that I had to end the phone call because it escalated to yelling.
During the call, she suggested I forgo using the name but honor our father by changing the baby’s middle name to our father’s first name (which my husband and I don’t think flows well) or use my maiden name for my son’s middle name. Must I change my son’s intended name because my sister wants to be the first to use our father’s middle name for a potential future son? — PICKING A NAME IN THE EAST
DEAR PICKING: How your sister got into the middle of what you and your husband decide about your baby’s name is beyond me. Of course you don’t have to alter your plans to suit your sister. Stop being a people-pleaser, particularly where your offspring is concerned. Name your baby boy what you think is best, and do not look back.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old woman dating a wonderful man my age. I purchased a house in my 20s, earned several degrees, own my own business and have achieved success. However, I haven’t had the best luck with the last few guys I’ve dated. The man I’m dating now doesn’t seem to grasp some of life’s necessities. He doesn’t shower often, wears the same attire several days in a row, drinks daily and stays out all night every weekend. When we met, he had no job and no car and was living with a friend.
It’s been three months, and he has secured a job. He has practically moved himself into my home and is helping with the finances, but he still doesn’t shower. (He does do housework, though.) I have had several conversations with him about his hygiene, and he makes promises but doesn’t deliver. My family thinks I’m desperate for love and that I should let this guy go. What do you think? — LOSING HOPE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR LOSING HOPE: More important than what your family thinks about this is what do YOU think? Because your wonderful man’s body odor is offensive, give him an ultimatum. Tell him that as much as you are beginning to care for him, this is a deal-breaker, and if he wants to continue living with you, he’ll have to shower regularly. Then give him a schedule or show him the door. (Whew!)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
