DEAR ABBY: I am 65, single and retired with an almost-40-year-old bipolar child. Although she’s compliant with her meds, she also self-medicates and sometimes must be hospitalized due to her mania. She doesn’t work and refuses to apply for any aid. I have stopped paying for her needs other than food, shelter and helping financially with her dog.
Last time, before her expected release, my conditions were simple — be medication-compliant, clean up after herself and the dog, and no drugs or alcohol in my house. I have given her three months to find employment. If these conditions aren’t met, I am bracing myself to no longer house her. I really would like to have my own life. When is it all right to push a kid out of the nest? — ENOUGH ALREADY IN NEW YORK
DEAR ENOUGH: By now you should realize that you may have been enabling your daughter rather than helping her as you intended. If she’s unwilling to follow your rules, assert yourself now. You have passed the point at which you should be living your own life.
DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor across the street and two doors down. They have five cars. Four are parked on the street. One constantly parks right in front of our house, which isn’t even directly across the street from theirs. The street directly across from their house is always empty.
I have asked them kindly with politely worded notes on the windshield to PLEASE not park in front of our house. Even though it is a public street, I don’t think it is a neighborly thing to do. Was I wrong to request they stop this practice? — TERRITORIAL IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TERRITORIAL: Because parking their car in front of your house bothers you, you had every right to make your feelings known and ask them to stop. I also agree that their continuing to do this after you asked them to stop was the opposite of “neighborly.” However, unless they are violating parking regulations in your neighborhood, there is nothing you can do to force them to stop. Sorry.
DEAR ABBY: On his second day of work, a new co-worker from a different department stole my candy bar. I confronted him, but he had already eaten it. Everyone was staring at me as I scolded him. He later returned to my department and threw a total of $21.62 at me. Before he threw it at my face, I had told him he didn’t need to give me any money.
His manager later spoke to me defending what he did! He said he was a “nice boy” and that I was out of line to scold him in front of everyone. Abby, who was wrong here? What should I do since work is now so awkward? I never got my candy back, but I did get $21.62. — NOT PROFESSIONAL IN THE EAST
DEAR NOT: Speak to your “nice” co-worker privately and see if you can clear the air. Tell him the money you spent on the candy wasn’t what bothered you, what did was that he took something that didn’t belong to him. Then return the cash he threw at you after deducting the cost of the candy bar.
P.S. His manager is mistaken. That “nice boy” has an entitled attitude and sticky fingers.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
