The Legend Of 'National Candy Corn Day'

Do you know what the best candy in the history of ever is? Well, let me tell you…it’s candy corn. (You don’t have to think about it. It’s definitely candy corn. Just go with it.) So, in celebration of the world’s best candy, Saturday, October 30 is recognized far and wide as National Candy Corn Day!

The awesomeness of candy corn is a tale as old as time itself, and the secrets of this tasty little Halloween treat have been closely guarded for years. (Full disclosure: that’s probably not true. It’s just something I say when I’m too lazy to research something before I write about it. In reality, I’m pretty sure it has something to do with sugar and corn syrup, and was probably invented by someone who was trying to make something else. But that’s not important. My theory is way better, I promise.)

So way back in 1985, there was this Canadian guy (we’ll call him Hans. No, Fritz, let’s call him Fritz.) Every Halloween, he would drive around Toronto in an IROC, blasting Motley Crew, in search of cans of creamed-corn. (As you probably remember, in the mid-1980s, Toronto was ground zero for illegal black-market creamed-corn trafficking.) Our guy Fritz, he’d steal as much creamed-corn as he could find from Toronto’s elite socialites and hand it out to needy trick-or-treaters on Halloween night. Fritz was a hero and a legend. The kids all used to call him “Robin,” because he be “rob-in” creamed-corn from the rich and giving it to the poor.

This went on for years, until the heat from the 5-O got to be too much for Fritz. He could feel the moist breath from the Mountie’s horses on the back of his neck, so Fritz took his entire stash of creamed-corn, and buried it in a secret location somewhere north of Saskatoon. Soon after, on Halloween night, the law caught up with the legend.

Fritz was sentenced to a life of hard-labor at Alcatraz Island Federal Penitentiary. While inside, Fritz was a model prisoner, and eventually earned the Warden’s trust. As a reward for Fritz’s good behavior, the Warden gave him a cushy job working in the kitchen, where Fritz met an old-timer named Morgan Freeman.

Before going to prison, Morgan Freeman spent his life as the narrator of every movie you’ve ever seen, while devoting all of his free time to becoming a master dehydrator. And during the long nights spent with Morgan Freeman in the kitchen for years and years, Fritz learned from the master.

As the legend goes, both Fritz and Morgan Freeman vanished from Alcatraz without a trace on Halloween night 10-years from the day that Fritz was caught. Some believe the two men dehydrated themselves into dust and floated away, while others believe that they swam from San Francisco, all the way to Saskatoon. But no one really knows for sure, and thus the legend has only grown in the years since.

It is because of Morgan Freeman and Fritz that excited young trick-or-treaters all over the country hang their candy bag on the mantle every Halloween night. They will stay up late listening for the sound of an IROC blasting Motley Crew coming down their street, and they will peek from their bedrooms in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Fritz and Morgan Freeman filling their bags with delicious candy corn.

And the children will sing…

“Here come Fritz and Morgan, here come Fritz and Morgan…

That IROC is on the way!

They’ve got a bag that’s filled with corn but it’s not creamy today!”

So, now that you know the legend, the only thing left to say is happy National Candy Corn Day everybody!

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