Dear Abby: Monday, August 23

Lonely Divorced Discouraged By A Return To “Normalcy”

DEAR ABBY: After my divorce 15 years ago, I moved 800 miles away to be near my only family — my older sister — at her request. We are close and talk on the phone every day, but do nothing together because she’s always busy and active with her partner of 50 years and their circle of friends. I have made few friends (just a couple from work and neighborhood acquaintances), nor have I found a romantic connection despite trying online dating, self-help books and volunteering. I even tried going on vacation alone a few years ago, which was misery. I’ve been through counseling three times. All three professionals have concluded that this is simply my life. During the COVID quarantine, I actually felt normal for the first time in 15 years because everyone else was spending all their time at home alone, too. While I’m relieved and thankful for the vaccines for bringing us closer to an end to the pandemic, I’m also depressed. I am dreading a return to “normal” because people will resume living and I will sit here and watch. How do I accept that this is how my life will be? — SIDELINED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SIDELINED: My late mother once told me that people can be as happy as they choose to be. You appear to be someone who has too much time on her hands. You are not a deprived urchin with her nose pressed against a bakery window. You are a capable adult who, now that so many people have been vaccinated, can get out of your dwelling and involve yourself in activities that INTEREST you. The time you’re wasting “watching” others live their lives is time you could be spending getting out into the community and perhaps volunteering again, taking a class or searching for a part-time job. If you do, you may meet others with similar interests and — while you may or may not find the romance you crave — you could possibly make some new friends.
     
DEAR ABBY: I took care of all three of my grandbabies from birth to when my oldest turned 9. Then I found out she was going home and telling her parents “everything” that happened while they were with me (nothing bad at all). Instead of talking to me about it, their mom is now keeping them from me. I have decided to quit trying to see them, since I feel like their mom “all of a sudden” doesn’t trust me or know me after all these years. I feel the same way about my son. I think he should see what’s going on and do something about it, but I don’t want to cause trouble between them. Am I wrong? — CUT OFF IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR CUT OFF: There is nothing wrong with children telling their parents what happened during a visit with the grandparents. And if the parent(s) feel any concern or discomfort, it would make sense for it to be discussed among the adults. Something important is missing from your letter. Do you KNOW what your granddaughter told her mother? I see nothing wrong with approaching your son about setting up a “family conference” to discuss this. Frankly, it is overdue.
     
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Related

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Today's Edition

IN THIS EDITION:

 • Greenbrier County Courthouse News Aug 12 – 18

 • Let Me Do You A Flavor: Fair Food Edition

 • Spartans Hold Final Scrimmage Before Season Begins

 • Kyle Petty's 'Charity Ride Revival' Scheduled For September

 • Richlands Ruritans Club Awards Scholarship

 • WVSOM Graduate To Speak At White Coat Ceremony

 • DHHR Provides COVID-19 Response Update

 • Harris Insurance Agency Donates To Alderson Clock Project

 • White Sulphur Lion's Club To Hold Annual Raffle

 • WVDNR Announces Upcoming Hunting Season Dates

 • WV Division Of Forestry Subdues Pendleton County Fire

 • Labor chief joins Manchin for West Virginia coal mine trip

 • Morrisey Leads 20-State Push Against Gun-Law Changes

 • Justice Announces Second 'Do It For Babydog' Sweepstakes

 • Many Bible Belt preachers silent on shots as COVID-19 surges

 • Haiti's troubled history may slow aid to earthquake victims

 • COVID Mask Disputes Make For Rocky Start Of School Year

 • Rural population losses add to farm and ranch labor shortage

 • Record delta wave hits kids, raises fear as US schools open

 • Was Biden handcuffed by Trump's Taliban deal in Doha?

 • Ex-chair of Purdue denies responsibility for opioid crisis

 • Chase Leads To Rehabilitation Sentence

 • Lewees Theft Results In Lengthy Sentence

 • It Happened This Week:

 • Dear Abby: Monday, August 23

 • GEHS Focuses On Leaving Mark

 • Ivy Terrace Concert Series Continues

 • DHHR Provides COVID-19 Update

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.