DEAR ABBY: My sister, “Blanche,” and I didn’t grow up together after she turned 13. I was 6 at that time, and our grandmother raised her. We talked on the phone a lot until I was 45 and my husband died. Blanche then convinced me to move to her state. When I received the insurance payout, she talked me into buying a property with two houses — one for her, and one for me. Then she had us go into business together.
I met someone a year later, and he moved in a year after that. Then my sister started driving a wedge. Blanche has always been manipulative and controlling. She refused to pay rent and wanted to clean my house in exchange for it. After many fights, silent treatment, etc. — not only me but also with our parents, brother, her daughter and her son-in-law — my now-fiance and I decided to sell the property and move out of state.
I’m concerned Blanche will give us trouble about moving out. She can barely pay her own bills, let alone pay rent somewhere else. My fiance says it’s not our problem, we need to live our lives and staying stuck in a hostile environment is unhealthy. My concern is that Blanche is my sister, and I hate to see her kicked out on the street. What should I do if she refuses to leave? She has received a legal eviction notice that gives her eight months to go. My fiance says we may have to call the sheriff to escort her out. — DREADING IT IN ARIZONA
DEAR DREADING IT: Your sister has eight months to make other living arrangements, so she isn’t going to be “out on the street” overnight. Discuss this messy problem with an attorney and enlist their help. If you can manage it, document the condition of the house she’s occupying. Your fiance may be right about your sister, so when the time comes for her to leave, consider having law enforcement present to ensure she doesn’t damage your property.
DEAR ABBY: I am a widow. Most of my friends are married. What do you think about them calling and touching base with me only when they are in their cars running errands? They never call from home while they’re with their husbands. Are they hiding the fact that they are calling their single friend? I think it’s rude to call someone while fighting traffic and making stops like the bank drive-up window.
I have thought about asking them to call me back when they get home, but they sound like they are just too busy to do that. I’m getting to the point where I just don’t answer their calls. I also have a married friend who only texts and never talks on the phone. — AFTERTHOUGHT IN FLORIDA
DEAR AFTERTHOUGHT: Your friends may have busy schedules and little free time, which is why they call you from their cars. They may also prefer that what they discuss with you be just between the two of you, with no one else listening in. I do not think you should take this as personally as you seem to have taken it. For a definitive answer to your question, you must ask your friends why they do this.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
